Sunday, 22 January 2012

"So who's carrying?"

One of the most common things Clara and I heard when we told people we were trying for a baby was, "so which of you is going to be having the baby?".

For those who knew me really well it wouldn't shock them to discover that perhaps I wasn't going to be the one to grow our baby. But there had been a time when I had considered giving birth.

Many moons ago I had contemplated the idea of creating a mini me, this was very much due to the fact I'd always loved kids and really wanted to have one of my own. Even once I had met Clara and we discussed the possibilities of starting a family, we had talked about how it would be a good idea if I was to go first as I was older and therefore the longer it was until I had a baby the more I fell in to the "at risk" category.

But the more Clara and I got to know each other and the more I got to know myself, I realised I just wasn't meant to be the one carrying the babies in our relationship. Clara understands and supports the way I feel, she also knows if there was ever a reason I had to, then I would step up to the plate. But until then, I'm happy being the other mum.

Since I got Clara pregnant, I can totally sympathise with dads. Don't get me wrong I don't want any pity as pregnant people definitely get the sharp end of the stick but it is still a terribly anxious and stressful time. Sure, I'm not having to be sick every five minutes, be poked and prodded by midwives or worrying about if I'm going to ever get back in to my favourite jeans. But I still have to adapt in ways I didn't foresee.

I am sure as the weeks go by we will each be changing in our own little ways.  In some ways it's incredibly lonely being the "other mum". In all the apps *and trust me I download a lot of apps* everything that isn't aimed at the pregnant woman is aimed at the Dad, in a very stereotypical way. I am yet to find something which addresses how I may be feeling. Heck maybe I'll end up having to write something myself.  I wouldn't want our situation any other way, I am loving watching the changes in my wife and I can't wait to meet our little Buttons.

K :)


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4 Comments:

At 23/01/2012, 11:30 , Blogger S And L said...

Interesting to read. I'll be the 'other mum' when we have children. My wife to be is a midwife and can't wait to be pregnant whereas I never planned to have children until I met L and realised you don't have to give birth and be baby obsessed to be a good mum! I want children now, but I love the idea of looking after my pregnant wife. We're really enjoying reading your journey :) Sarah & Lauren x

 
At 23/01/2012, 21:44 , Blogger 2aussiemammas said...

Love the bit: "and trust me, I downloaded a lot of apps" hehe... I have 6. Yes 6! While my wife (the pregnant mamma) has but one :p

It definitely is a different road, the road of the 'other mother' but a road with its own blessings and struggles that I am loving being on. It's so nice to be able to read through your journey together, and get a glimpse of it through the eyes of another other mother ;)

 
At 23/01/2012, 22:05 , Blogger MytwoMums said...

It's great to hear from someone else going through the same thoughts and concerns. It's a crazy time even if I'm not having symptoms :) thanks for reading

 
At 23/01/2012, 22:09 , Blogger MytwoMums said...

I think I have 4 currently on my phone. But I did have a lot more at one stage lol. I'm a gadget freak. Love my apps, plus I love being able to tell people what the baby looks like at which stage etc.

I am loving my road too. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's good to hear from another other mother too :)

 

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